This is what it's lke, what it's like to disappear, the music of the spheres still ringing in my ear

I miss Jeff. I miss what I used to have. I miss everything I have given up, everything I cannot go back to.

There are people who know I miss them, and there are people who, like Jeff, can never know my true feelings.

I would like to believe he can, I would like to believe he can read my thoughts as I type these words, see my tears as they stream down my face without sound, wonder at the music we could make if we only existed on the same plane...

___

In any event, Jeff, what I can do is celebrate who you are. To that end, I am starting a collection of memories, photographs, and other things related to you which I will be publishing as a Christmas present for your family and whomever else wants a copy. This is what I will be spending the next week on.

The blur that has been my life in the last month shows no sign of becoming more defined, the images are not any sharper, but my purpose is becoming clearer. To that end, I shall keep playing music, keep writing, keep learning, keep being, keep loving.