Friday, January 22, 2010
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Moments like this
Real life, defined with a brush whose bristles are constantly changing, stiff or supple, short or longe, horsehair or steel-toothed, and the colors of the paint are not always colors but shades of grey...
This blog seems to be at an end. More like I want to start a new beginning, so I will elsewhere, as I have often done.
I miss certainty that I never knew I had, and I miss people I never knew I would lose. Such is the illusion of impermanence, one illusion I keep hoping not to be permanent ubiquitously.
I cannot control it, I cannot change it, I cannot make it anything more then what it is. I cannot do anything aside from throw sadness, madness, temper tantrums and too-small and weak fists at it's steel-reinforced concrete, breaking my knuckles and my hopes for some semblance of control--yet I still crave it, this reliable permanence, this predictable human temperament, wishing for Eden to be realer than the fairy tale it is.
...
I will write of the rest of my 2009 adventures here, but starting with my January dip in the Beverly Beach (Newport, Oregon) ocean with Allosaurus and the dogs Annie and Bella I will use a new blog, a link to which I will post.
This blog seems to be at an end. More like I want to start a new beginning, so I will elsewhere, as I have often done.
I miss certainty that I never knew I had, and I miss people I never knew I would lose. Such is the illusion of impermanence, one illusion I keep hoping not to be permanent ubiquitously.
I cannot control it, I cannot change it, I cannot make it anything more then what it is. I cannot do anything aside from throw sadness, madness, temper tantrums and too-small and weak fists at it's steel-reinforced concrete, breaking my knuckles and my hopes for some semblance of control--yet I still crave it, this reliable permanence, this predictable human temperament, wishing for Eden to be realer than the fairy tale it is.
...
I will write of the rest of my 2009 adventures here, but starting with my January dip in the Beverly Beach (Newport, Oregon) ocean with Allosaurus and the dogs Annie and Bella I will use a new blog, a link to which I will post.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Road trippin' with my two favorite allies, fully loaded we've got snacks and supplies
I have many road trips left to document.
San Francisco, Seattle, Newport, Bend, and the almost Bend Road trip...not sure I want to document that last one I took in the wee hours of 2010.
Also, many experiences I suppose. Art museum, death blows to my last romantic relationship, all the dates I have been on with various women since...or something. Dating doesn't make sense to me; I can't rightfully call them dates. I just find myself drawn to the women I am interested in, and try out being friends, and then maybe see where that goes. The rest is what it is, and happens how it does.
And Jeff, also known as Mongoose in my past writings; my musical brother, my friend of hidden suffering, my blood on the rocks of the bottom of the gorge he leapt into...
So much to do, so much to write.
San Francisco, Seattle, Newport, Bend, and the almost Bend Road trip...not sure I want to document that last one I took in the wee hours of 2010.
Also, many experiences I suppose. Art museum, death blows to my last romantic relationship, all the dates I have been on with various women since...or something. Dating doesn't make sense to me; I can't rightfully call them dates. I just find myself drawn to the women I am interested in, and try out being friends, and then maybe see where that goes. The rest is what it is, and happens how it does.
And Jeff, also known as Mongoose in my past writings; my musical brother, my friend of hidden suffering, my blood on the rocks of the bottom of the gorge he leapt into...
So much to do, so much to write.
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